Monday, May 6, 2019

I was wrong....



I am never wrong. You’re wrong for even suggesting that I might be remotely wrong.  No, I think you better admit that you are wrong.  Who likes to admit that?  Heck, not me! That was my attitude for much of my life. If there was ever an error in judgement it was always someone else’s fault.  I never accepted responsibility for my actions and the cycle simply repeated itself, like a dog chasing its tail.   

About a year ago I started looking myself in the mirror and recounting the many arguments as well as bad choices I made in my life.  If I’m honest and truthful with you, I took the easy way out and blamed everyone else, except myself.  As I recounted the many painful memories it turns out that a majority of them were cause by non-other than me. No one forced me down a certain path. I was not held at gun point to make a certain choice.  I made a decision and it was the wrong one.  I’m not singling out a specific circumstance but in general.  Sometimes I am wrong, truth is we all are at times.  From our reactions to our responses there are times we say the wrong words that are laced with anger and hate.  In such cases, I have had to face the fire, swallow my pride, and come clean. Without such acknowledgements there can be no growth. 

It is OK to admit this, I think when you can see the error in your judgement, you can take action to correct it.  The sooner you see your mistake, the sooner you can work to repair and better yourself.  Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that you should admit wrongdoing when truthfully there was no error on your behalf.  In the cases that you are, come clean and move forward.  Better yourself, become the better man you are destined to be. 

Monday, April 22, 2019

I am a Protector.

I believe we all have an instinct burning inside with a growing desire to protect what is dear to us. As a child you have a natural desire to guard what is yours. It's actually funny when you think about it. A child covering his/her toys saying, "these are mine!" As we get older, that changes and we choose what to protect.

Protector, defender, and guardian are other words associated.  I'm long gone from being a child hovering over toys. I'm a husband to a beautiful woman, a father to a son and daughter.  I mentioned in a previous blog that my selfish attitude and recklessness cost me my first marriage. I was blessed with a second chance.  I found myself repeating the same mistakes. I began to destroy of what was my redemption. I realized that things had to change. There is no other option, I have to change to save myself, my relationship with my wife, and my family.  This is what I have to protect now. These are my treasures now. 

The photo is of my daughter and I, there is something special in a father daughter relationship. I see her growing up and I desire nothing more than the best for her.  As a father, it is my duty to protect her, to protect her innocence, and her heart.  I know that she will not escape the pain and heartaches that life brings but I can let her know that her dad will always be there for her. I always encourage her to talk to me, our conversations are innocent but I want to create an open relationship. A relationship where she knows and feels safe. I want her to trust me with her little heart, I want her
to know that I will guard it and be gentle with it.  

I am a protector of my marriage.  This subject hits close to home because outside forces can easily intrude and destroy something so beautiful.  Secrecy, disrespect, porn, and the list goes on. I do plan on sharing my experiences on a different blog regarding marriage and the things I've learned but I want to focus on being a guardian over my marriage.  As men it is up to us to stand strong when outside forces as well inside (within ourselves) threaten our marriage.  At least that is the stance I have taken now.  It is my most prized treasure.  If I successfully stand as a protector, my marriage succeeds, my wife and myself succeed, my family does as well.  

There is so much more I wish to share but I don't want to write a novel just yet. lol!  I hope today's blog has resonated with someone.  If you feel someone else would enjoy today's post please share.  I thank you so much for your support. Be blessed.

Michael

Tuesday, April 16, 2019

I am...

I am...
What are you? What are you supposed to be? What does society say you are? If I go by societies standards I'm pretty sure I'd appear to be pretty old fashioned. It has only been a few weeks since I started this journey of discovering what a true man is and I am finding out that it is a loaded question.  I'm fairly certain that if I asked people what their definition of a man is I would get different answers.  I have come to the conclusion that what I am designed to be is not one dimensional.

I understand this might not be for everyone, but for those who strive for more, I am right there with you, beside you, brothers in arms.  I recently read that woman are taking on more dominant roles as well as caring for the household. Keeping them together and handling the situations that arise, children being raised in single parent homes (which leans toward the women taking the parenting role.) I grew up in this environment. My question is, "What happened to all the men?". Where did we loose our way? This is a complex question that I won't go too deep into.

What I am trying to get at is that I'm discovering there is so much more to being a man than I have been taught or told by anyone else.  It is like a giant puzzle with each piece interconnected, one piece depending on another to make the big picture complete. If one part is missing the master piece is incomplete.

These are just a few characteristics I have discovered and try to apply in my life:
I am...
Strong
Loving
Patient
Understanding
Dependable
Considerable
A Gentleman
Father
Husband
Brother
Friend
An Example
A Leader
A Good Listener

I will admit I don't have everything down, I am far from a perfect man, much less a perfect husband.  I think the purpose is not to be perfect (aside from it being unrealistic) but rather to strive for it.  Constantly improving, constantly being better day after day. Like someone who workouts to get stronger, slowly making gains and adding plates to the bar. That is why I created this blog, to be able to share this journey, to constantly remind myself to be better and to slowly make progress towards my goal.  In addition, I hope to inspire others to join me on this journey.  Maybe even help someone avoid some of the mistakes I have made. Thank you very much for taking the time to read today's blog, I greatly appreciate it.  If you feel this might help someone please share it.  Also, leave your email to be notified when a new blog post has been published.

Be blessed,
Michael

Saturday, April 13, 2019

You > Me

How did I end up here? How did lose I everything precious to me? How did I destroy relationships? How did I hurt those closest to me? The answer is actually pretty simple, every action I took and choice I made was solely for myself.

Being a man is much deeper than the stereotype its given.  Not too long ago I watched several documentaries about the Navy Seals and I was blown away.  The mental strength that is forged from their training is unreal.  As the training progresses usually someone steps up to keep the unit together and pushes them beyond their limit.  They must all keep going because if one fails they all fail.  These elite individuals are denied sleep and rest, the urge to quit is easy.  I wouldn't last one day with these guys.  When they chose to keep going they were performing a true act of selflessness.  I am tired and hungry but if I give up the rest will fail. Now, I'm not comparing ourselves to Seals but the idea is there. I must think of others if we are going to succeed.

I was a preteen when I was forced to be a role model and in charge of my younger siblings.  I had no idea how to be a big brother and guide my three brothers and sister.  As I look back I was not really there for them, it is something I regret to this day.  As I grew into my teen years and young adult life, every hardship that confronted me I bailed as fast as I could.  It was much easier to run away than to face the problem. The selfishness was that I wanted to end my pain first before making sure that everyone was alright. My desires came above everyone else's, "so you're hurting, well I'm hurting too and what I'm going through is really more important" (this was an actually thought that ran through my mind).  This mentality bled into my first marriage.  I was non existent during hardships and never supportive.  I did not push through the pain of life and face things and that selfish action caused my unit to fail.  I let them all down......family, friends, myself, and God.  The guilt and shame from that outcome held me down for years.  

Yes, I know, pretty depressing, but the story does not end there.  I thank God for second chances.  I have found a new life with a woman I am madly in love with, and a son and daughter who mean the world to me.  God restored what was broken and gave me a beautiful gift.  Now I have vowed to protect this second chance, whatever the cost. I am tired, I am sleep deprived, I don't know if I can make it.  That doesn't matter, if I fail my unit, if I fail my family, my family fails.

I understand I am under construction right now, I will continue to explore the true meaning of being a man.  We have to set micro goals to reach the place we want to go to.  Today let's focus on being selfless to the ones we love.  Thank you for taking the time to read today's post.  Please share if you feel this might help someone else.

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves..."  Philippians 2:3

Michael

Friday, April 12, 2019

Who am I, who are you?

An introduction, is perhaps in order. My name is Michael and truth be told I have never blogged before but never the less here we go.  I decided to start this blog because there is a desire in my heart to share what I have been through and the things I have learned along the way.  As well as the things I continue to learn. In the description it mentions that I am on a journey to reclaim in myself what a man truly is.  Is a man simply someone who works 9-5 and provides for his family?  Perhaps someone who maintenance's the family vehicles? Or is he more?

I have asked myself this very question over and over.  I feel I was designed for more.  There is a desire in me to be a husband who is there for my wife and father who is there for his children. A friend to lean on, a person who is reliable, honest, humble, considerate, and loving.  I know I am not alone in this, which is why I have found myself here hoping to ignite a flame in someone else.  Join me on this soul search and self reflection.  Let's work on ourselves together to better men to the ones we love. 

  

I was wrong....

I am never wrong. You’re wrong for even suggesting that I might be remotely wrong.   No, I think you better admit that you are wrong...